parenting

Happy Birthiversary Coraline

Posted by May 27, 2025

14 years ago today, my favourite daughter in the whole wide world was born. This photo was taken just a few hours after she was born. What follows is her birth story.

At around 9 a.m. on May 27 I started having contractions that felt different than the contractions I’d been having for the better part of a week. Even though they felt different, they weren’t all that painful and they weren’t regular nor did they last for longer than 45 seconds or so. I took the children to school like I do every morning and made Derek go to work because I figured this was just another false alarm and after several trips to labour and delivery (including the trip due to my car accident), I had made up my mind that I wasn’t going back until my water broke or my induction scheduled for May 31st. 

I ran errands that morning and continued having contractions but by around 1 p.m. they hadn’t gotten longer or stronger so I chalked it up to being false labour. Even still, Derek decided to leave work early just in case. At around 3, the contractions seemed to intensify a little and had gotten to be a little more regular, still only 6-8 minutes apart though but on a scale of 0-10, they were still only a 5/5.5 so I figured there was still plenty of time to wait if this was the real deal.

I attempted to take a nap but I just couldn’t get comfortable. At around 4 I decided to take a bath and even though the contractions were still 6-8 minutes apart, the bath took the intensity down to between a 3-4. After being in the bath for about an hour I figured it was time to get out so that we could start getting things together because something felt very different and I figured with it being rush hour on a Friday that it would take a while to get to the hospital.

After dropping the children off with a friend, we got to labour and delivery at around 6:30. TheThe contractions were definitely stronger (consistently being between a 6-7) and were a little closer together, coming every 4-6 minutes. It wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle, but I figured it was worth it to go ahead and get checked, if only to see if I had made any progress from Wednesday morning, when during my routine weekly OBGYN appointment my doctor found that I was still around 3-3.5 cm dilated but not effaced at all. It took a little while to get checked in so it wasn’t until around 7 p.m. that I was finally assigned a bed and a nurse in labour and delivery.

She told me that she was going to check me but her checking only lasted a few seconds (which was a marked difference than all of the other times that it took upwards of 20 seconds of intense agony). She was silent and immediately grabbed the phone out of her pocket. By her behaviour, I was heartbroken. I told her that if I wasn’t dilated more than 3.5 cm that I didn’t want to know anything and she didn’t respond other than to hush me nicely. I asked her who she was calling and she sort of winked at me and said, “Hold on. You’ll see.”  I laid there for a second or two, completely puzzled until the person on the other end of the line picked up and the nurse started talking.

“I’ve got a patient in Bed 8 who is 7 centimeters dilated and completely effaced. I need the doctor paged because she needs to be admitted immediately.”

It took me about 30 seconds to realize she was talking about me. I started crying tears of joy because that was the absolute LAST thing I had imagined her saying.

It didn’t take long to be admitted and by the time I was settled, with an IV in place, I was already 8 centimeters. I had been adamant about not getting an epidural throughout the entire pregnancy and when it was offered to me again after admission I refused. The contractions were considerably stronger (between an 8-9) but weren’t lasting for any longer than a minute to a minute and a half so I tried to remain as focused as possible on staying relaxed and breathing. My water still hadn’t broken so I was free to get up and move around as much as I wanted to ease the contractions.

They did give me a couple of injections of Nubain through my IV every hour or so to take the edge off of the contractions but after the 3rd injection at around 10:30 p.m. it was like they were pushing saline instead of any kind of narcotic pain relief and the contractions were painful enough that I started losing focus and was no longer able to stay relaxed. At close to 11 p.m. my water still hadn’t broken but it felt like I needed to push. My wonderful nurse checked me and I was finally at 10 centimeters so she guided me through pushing gently a little to see if it helped take the edge off of the contractions and it did a little but by that point the contractions were coming every minute or so and exhaustion was beginning to set in. Our nurse explained that she could have the doctor come in to break my water and that it would definitely speed things up but it would make the contractions a lot more painful. I thought about it for about 10 minutes and finally decided to go ahead and have that done.

At 11:21 the doctor broke my water. During the next contraction my nurse had me push and immediately I could feel the baby coming out. I started to panic a little telling her what I was feeling and that I needed to push. She quickly checked me and told me that I needed to wait just a second so she could call the doctor back in because the baby was about an inch from making her entrance.

The doctor appeared almost immediately and I gave one strong push which brought the baby almost to crowning. Then, a flurry of activity began because the doctor was trying to suit up as fast as she could because the baby was coming right then. They kept telling me to wait but my body took over and I couldn’t hold her back any longer. After only 4 or 5 solid pushes, our daughter, Coraline Grayson Dukes was born on May 27, 2011, at 11:33 p.m. She weighed 7 pounds 9 ounces and was 19 inches long. Because it was only 12 minutes from the time the doctor broke my water until she was born, she has an absolutely perfectly shaped head which showcases her mess of dark brown hair beautifully.

Our birth experience was perfect in so many ways and went better than I could have ever anticipated, thanks to our wonderful nurse Bonnie. I’m forever grateful for her giving me the best experience possible.

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How does she do it?

Posted by April 16, 2025

I’ll be bringing back some of my previous posts from an earlier iteration of this site. Here’s one that was originally published on December 3, 2013.

The majority of my mom friends only have one or two children. So whenever we get together and/or have a chance to talk, it’s inevitable that they remark about how much more I have to handle and deal with. 

And it’s true. Having 5 children certainly does make for more chaos! I just brush these comments off though because little do they know that I have a handful of secrets to manage the stress. Most moms with less than 2 or 3 children will not understand these methods, and that’s OK. Moms of 4 (or more) will totally get this. There are numerous issues I encounter while trying to get through my day. These issues include:

  • Idle hands spend time doing terrible toddler things (e.g., picking their nose, putting their hands in their diaper, dumping cat food into the cats’ water bowl).
  • When toddlers step out of line, the punishment must be swift and harsh.
  • When toddlers do good work, the reward must also be swift (and sometimes harsh.)

The following are 4 of my secrets for getting through the day without beginning to drink at 8:45 a.m.

Secret #1: Your 2-year-old is more capable than you think.
Put their incessant energy to good use by making them perform the household chores that you hate. For example, let your toddler wash their own bottles. In addition, have them finish up the leftover dishes from the previous night’s dinner:

Also, cleanliness is next to godliness, so have them wash their hands repeatedly. This is a double bonus, because they will have relatively clean hands (for a couple of minutes) and they find this exercise enjoyable:

Secret #2: 2-year-olds are excellent at doing laundry.
Here you can see Coraline cleaning out the lint filter. Another double bonus, because the lint problem gets taken care of and thoroughly punishes the toddler who has just spent 20 minutes washing her hands:

Secret #3: Your 1-year-old is more capable than you think.

For example, Halsey does an excellent job of (re)formatting his father’s Kindle:


Also, they say a 1-year-old’s mouth is cleaner than a dog’s, so let him disinfect those germ-ridden game controllers:

When your 1-year-old does his chores appropriately, a suitable reward is letting him play with plastic bags:

However, when your 1-year-old tries to run from helping fold laundry…

Suitable punishments include making him smash his own fingers in the kitchen hand towel drawer:

Locking him in a dark bathroom:

Making him watch TV from outside of the family room gate:

One item of importance is making sure your 2-year-old doesn’t get lazy. You’ve got to make her sharpen her incredible gymnastic skills:

Also, you can’t let your toddler get too comfortable. A good way to keep them in line is making them nap without their favourite blanket. Note the look of glee on my 2-year-old’s face. She clearly enjoys my creative methods for compliance:

Secret #4: Your cat can actually be helpful.

Here is Lieutenant Clawhugs reporting for duty:

He helps by using his entire furry body to dust off the kitchen table:

Cats are also excellent inspectors:

In fact, cats are very thorough inspectors:

Once your cat is done inspecting your toddler’s work, he’ll likely want to take a break by laying on a cleankitchen towel. (This is because cats are notoriously lazy.):

At least he makes up for his laziness by voicing his complaints. (Cats hate the paparazzi.)



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