The Power of Vulnerability

Originally published on September 23, 2012.

There are realizations (many, MANY), realizations that I have made – years ago as well as moments ago that may or may not stick to the forefront of my mind in the years to come.

Realizing that vulnerability and tenderness are important, and surrendering into those emotions are progressive, but:

·  I am FAR too willful (i.e., stubborn and/or obnoxious) to surrender to much of anything, except perhaps Rocky Road ice cream and white wine for dinner (on occasion, of course).

·  My best-est of friends are just as willful/stubborn at The Game of Life as I am, so Game Night is completely pointless (since we all just stare at the die, refusing to even pick it up to determine who must make the first move.)

Surrendering is a foreign word in my vocabulary, so I hardly think I should be expected to know the dance moves. Except, I obviously am not alone in this struggle (i.e., waving the white flag to vulnerability). So, rather than surrender, I just numb the shit out of that bitch

Only, by doing that (using whatever means or method I so desire), I numb all of my other emotions too (including the ones I want to be roommates with so we can braid each other’s hair and stay up late watching awful movies like Clueless and Beaches). Therefore, I am exceptionally brilliant at numbing vulnerability. Only, in doing so, I numb joy and hopefulness and gratitude. And most importantly, I numb my authentic self. Then, that makes me feel the “ick” of vulnerability all over again, so I numb (again), and the cycle continues. 

But I feel it’s important to point out that “numbing” does not always equal addiction. Sometimes, numbing only means (personally) a little scratch here and there, because I am extraordinarily marvelous at making the uncertain, certain. 

I’m not sure how to fix this. Yet. 

But what I do know is this:

must let myself live with my WHOLE heart.

I must live my life knowing that there are NO guarantees.

I must practice joy and hopefulness and gratitude and, ultimately vulnerability in order to arrive at the belief that I AM enough.

That’s all I have (for tonight).

If you are interested in what sparked this entry or would like to hear a story from the scientific researcher/story-teller (i.e., Magic Pixie) who made this entry possible, spend the next 20 minutes or so of your life watching and/or listening to this. It just might change your life.

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I <3 Jon

I basically get my news from 3 places: The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, and the (Jon) Lovett or Leave It podcast. (Apparently I only trust guys named Jon/John with delivery of my news.)

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Things I Found While Eff’ing Around – Volume 2

I got this idea after reading a couple of my favourite blogs. It’s really just a list of a handful of websites that I’ve visited on my travel through the internets that I thought you might like. So, without further ado, I present to you…

Things I Found While Eff’ing Around
(all links will open in a new window)

I *LOVE* this and I SO MUCH WANT: Brit Kits!

This is full of TEH CUTENESS. Bunny loves his balloon.

One of the best nature specials I’ve seen in a while. 

OB/GYNs need to take seriousSERIOUS notice here. How to avoid having a cesarean section.

This is something I need in my life. A cloud-shaped bath bomb that produces a rainbow. Magical!

I don’t even have a dog (any longer) but this site cracks me up: Text From Dog

I’m not really sure what this is even about but it’s certainly fun to play with: Incredibox

Llamas = Awesome but Llamas Wearing Hats = AWESOME TIMES INFINITY

Take a break from all of those meaningless little things at The Quiet Place.

I love making lists but I love reading found grocery lists even more: The Grocery List

And last but not least, a Calvin and Hobbes search engine.

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The 12 Most Controversial Facts In Mathematics

Here’s something I came across the other day and found super interesting, even though it broke my brain. While “controversial” in mathematics usually refers to unsolved problems or conjectures, here are 12 notable and often-debated mathematical concepts: (all links will open in a new window)

While some of these problems are unsolved, others are well-established results with ongoing discussions about their implications or

  • 1. The Riemann Hypothesis:This famous conjecture proposes a specific relationship between the distribution of prime numbers and the behavior of a complex function. It remains unsolved despite extensive research. 
  • 2. The Goldbach Conjecture:This states that every even integer greater than 2 can be expressed as the sum of two prime numbers. It’s been verified for large numbers, but a general proof remains elusive. 
  • 3. The P vs NP Problem:This problem asks whether every problem whose solution can be quickly verified can also be solved quickly. A positive answer would have significant implications for computer science and cryptography. 
  • 4. The Four Color Theorem:This theorem states that any map can be colored with only four colors so that no two adjacent regions have the same color. It was famously proven with the aid of computer analysis. 
  • 5. Fermat’s Last Theorem:This theorem states that no three positive integers a, b, and c can satisfy the equation a^n + b^n = c^n for any integer value of n greater than 2. It was proven centuries after its formulation by Andrew Wiles
  • 6. The Monty Hall Problem:This probability puzzle involves a contestant choosing a door with a prize behind it, and the host then revealing a door with no prize. Should the contestant switch their choice, or stay with their initial selection? The counterintuitive answer is that switching increases the odds of winning. 
  • 7. The Twin Prime Conjecture:This conjecture suggests that there are infinitely many pairs of prime numbers that differ by 2. While there’s no proof, extensive research suggests it’s true. 
  • 8. The Poincaré Conjecture:This conjecture, proven by Grigoriy Perelman, states that any simply-connected, closed 3-manifold is homeomorphic to the 3-sphere. It was one of the Millennium Prize Problems. 
  • 9. The Collatz Conjecture:This conjecture, also known as the “100 problem”, posits that starting with any positive integer and repeatedly applying the rule (n is even, n = n/2; n is odd, n = 3n+1), you will eventually reach the number 1. 
  • 10. The Birch and Swinnerton-Dyer Conjecture:This conjecture is a deep result in number theory concerning the number of rational points on algebraic curves. It remains unsolved. 
  • 11. The Hodge Conjecture:This conjecture relates the algebraic structure of a complex projective variety to its topological structure. It’s a major unsolved problem in algebraic geometry. 
  • 12. The Navier-Stokes Equations and Yang-Mills Existence and Mass Gap:These two problems are fundamental in mathematical physics and fluid dynamics. They concern the existence and properties of solutions to certain differential equations. 

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Things I Found While Eff’ing Around – Volume 1

I got this idea after reading a couple of my favourite blogs. It’s really just a list of a handful of websites that I’ve visited on my travel through the internets that I thought you might like. So, without further ado, I present to you…

Things I Found While Eff’ing Around
(all links will open in a new window)

In 2010 alone, more than 3,400 button battery swallowing cases were reported in the U.S., resulting in 19 serious injuries and in some cases, deaths. Get the facts here.

The science of storytelling.

I had to use the Wayback Machine for this one but it’s totally worth it. It’s all fun and games until CPS shows up.

Test your intelligence.

Mind. Blown.

The Honest Toddler

Amazing and stunning works of art that aren’t photographs.

I’ve always been fascinated by linguistics. In fact, a game I like playing (it makes an especially fun ice-breaker!) starts with compiling a list of 20-30 words that have different pronunciations (depending on what part of the country you’re from). The list is then provided and everyone takes turns saying each word out loud. OK, so when I type it all out like this, it sounds really nerdy and lame. Oh, well. Here’s a list of words to get you started:

  • Bowie knife 
  • Lawyer 
  • Crayon 
  • Status 
  • Route 
  • Mayonnaise 
  • Pajamas 
  • Pecan 
  • Syrup
  • Either
  • Caribbean

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